He Thought He'd Seen Everything
by Brunette Chic
Summary: Jocelyn is an 18y.o. woman looking for man to love her.She's going home on the Titanic with her mom.There she meets handsome Officer James Moody.They fall in love,but with the iceberg to come,will tragedy tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Marriage**

" **I don't understand you, Jocelyn. Why won't you just marry him?", Jocelyn's mother, Kathleen asked.**

" **Because, Mother, I do not love him", Jocelyn replied. She sat across from her mother at the dinner table, and lately, she was pushing Jocelyn to marry a man named Thomas Edwards.**

" **Love is not something that you need. Money and a good name are what you look for in a suitable husband, and Thomas is the perfect man for that. He has a good name, and will keep you out of debt", Kathleen reminded her. It was the same words she'd heard years ago. Even being eighteen years old, she was a little over what would be the marriage age.**

" **I don't care about money, Mother, and you know that. You can not tell me that you didn't marry Father for love. I know you did", Jocelyn spat, as she glared at her mother.**

" **I did not marry your father for love. I married him because I was pregnant and my parents disowned me for it", Kathleen admitted quietly.**

**Jocelyn gasped in shock. She was stunned beyond anything she had ever felt. " What?", she managed to get out.**

" **I was pregnant. I was young. I was sixteen when I found out I was pregnant with you. My parents disowned me, so I married to spite them, and to have a father for you", Kathleen admitted.**

" **Father was not my real father?", Jocelyn managed as tears slipped down her cheeks.**

" **No, he was. I was young, and he seduced me. Two months later, I found out I was pregnant, I told my parents, and they disowned me. I was out on the streets, and then he found me. We were married a few days later", Kathleen said.**

**Shock swept through every nerve in Jocelyn's body. " You did not marry for love? But, what about the stories you told me when I was little?", Jocelyn asked.**

" **I should not have told them, but you were young, I did not think you would take it so seriously", Kathleen replied.**

" **How could you not think that? A child usually trust it's mother to tell them the truth", Jocelyn yelled, as she headed for her bedroom. **

**Jocelyn sat in her room, and she hugged her pretty pink bunny to her. It was the bunny her father had given to her years ago, but she still kept it around. Not that she really needed it. Jocelyn was of a marriageable age, and she didn't want to marry unless it was for love.**

**She remembered that she would be on the most luxurious ship in the world. The ship they call " unsinkable". The Titanic. A name that fit. She had no idea what it meant, but it suited the ship. She would finally be going home. She had spent the last ten years of her life in England, and now she would be going home. Jocelyn was an eighteen year old woman, and for the first time in her life, she felt somewhat happy. Now that she would be leaving poor, young Thomas behind.**

**As she settled into her bed that night, she thought of the days to come, and the luxuries she would find. It let her drift into a peaceful sleep.**

" **Jocelyn, we need to be going now, hurry up", her mother scolded. Their things were packed and she was just finishing up what she was doing, which was nothing short of putting her hat on.**

" **I'm coming, Mother", Jocelyn called, putting the final touches on her hat. She took one last look out the window and then headed for the stairs.**

**As they sat in the car, Jocelyn felt like she was leaving nothing but a prison cell. Even after ten years, Southampton just didn't feel like home. **

**Once they arrived at the Titanic and Jocelyn got a look at the ship they would be traveling on, she felt very small. Boarding the ship, she felt nothing but relief. When she got to her room, she let herself sink down onto the bed. Life was very good, and she felt relieved that Titanic was bringing her home.**

**Her maid, Ann, set the dress that Jocelyn would be wearing for dinner. It was a beautiful dress, a rich, dark midnight blue colouring. It was long with a train and gloves for her hands. The sleeves came just off her shoulder and the bodice would cling to her waist and small hips.**

**The midnight blue brought out her chocolate brown eyes, and brown hair. She put her up in a bun, with a few strands down the nape of her neck. " You look wonderful, Miss Jocelyn", her maid complimented.**

" **Do you think so?", Jocelyn asked, giggling.**

" **I think you will catch almost every eye out there, Miss", Ann replied.**

" **Maybe I will catch sights of a rather nice gentleman, Ann, oh gosh, do you think I could?", Jocelyn asked.**

" **I very well think you could, Miss", Ann smiled at her through the mirror.**

" **Thank you. Ann. You did a lovely job with my dressing tonight, as you always do", Jocelyn said, turning around to put her gloves on.**

" **I think any man would be crazy not to notice you, Miss. That dress always brings out the brown in your eyes. It suits you very well. I wish I could find a nice gentleman, not that I mean that I want to leave you. I would just love to fall in love", Ann sighed. How truly the young woman wanted to. Jocelyn sighed inwardly, and put her gloves on.**

" **You will find someone, Ann. I assure you. The right person just hasn't come yet", Jocelyn said, dazed.**

" **You really think so?", Anna asked, as she put the gloves the rest of the way on. There was an almost content look in her eyes. " I am truly happy to stay here. I do not mean disrespect."**

" **It is nothing, Ann. I would love to find the right man as well. I am just happy that Mother will not force Thomas on me. He was attractive, of sorts, but I just was not attracted to him, at all", Jocelyn frowned.**

**There was a slight knock on the door before it cracked open a bit. Her mother walked into the room. " Jocelyn? Are you ready yet?", Kathleen asked, giving her daughter a smile when she saw the dress she was wearing, " Oh, that dress. I always did like it."**

" **Yes, Mother, I'm ready", Jocelyn replied. **

_**I'm sorry this first chapter is so short. I got the idea on a whim after I watched Titanic for the millionth time. It will get better, I promise, I couldn't exactly work on it a lot right now since I'm right in the middle of exams. But, I will continue, so R&R, and let me know what you think. Thanks guys!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: First Sight**

**Jocelyn followed her mother down the stairs, and felt a million eyes on her. She didn't bother talking to anyone, just kept her head up and her shoulders straight. It was then that she looked straight into the eyes of an officer, if his apparel was anything to go by.**

**Sixth Officer James Moody looked up from his conversation to a beautiful woman who was walking down the stairs of the Grand Staircase alone. She didn't look to be on the arm of anyone. She looked away and went to follow after an older woman he could only presume was her mother.**

**Someone tapped his jacket and he turned back to his conversation. " Yes?", James asked.**

" **What is up with you? Are you ok?", one of the other men asked.**

" **It is nothing", he replied, turning briefly, and caught the young woman looking at him. He gave her a polite smile, and bowed his head. James had been taught to be fair to any woman, no matter the age.**

" **Oh, I see now what you are looking at", that same man, by the name of Emmett said.**

" **I have no idea what you mean", James replied, turning around.**

" **The young woman who is looking at you, Officer", Emmett smiled.**

" **I still have no idea what you are talking about, Emmett, it is nothing", James muttered. Although the urge to turn around again was a bit eerie, he considered it nothing.**

" **I think it is something. She looks alone, perhaps, Officer, you should ask to escort her to dinner", Emmett half-whispered.**

" **Perhaps I should", James replied, turning on his heel and headed straight for the woman who was now turning away from him.**

" **Excuse me, Miss", he greeted her.**

**She turned on the voice, and straight up into the eyes of James Moody. " Yes, sir?", she replied, quietly, noting that he was an officer.**

" **I was wondering if you would care for an escort to dinner", he suggested.**

**Jocelyn's mother turned at that moment, and asked, " Officer?"**

" **Sorry, Ma'am, didn't mean to bother you, but I was just asking your daughter if she would care for an escort to dinner", he replied.**

" **I do believe she would. Jocelyn?", Kathleen asked. Jocelyn felt as if she were being discussed for a sale.**

" **Yes, Officer, I would like an escort to dinner", Jocelyn answered. He gave her his arm, and led her way down to dinner.**

" **By the way, Miss, my name is Officer James Moody", he half-whispered, as he led her down the stairs.**

" **I'm Jocelyn Fleming, pleased to meet you", she smiled. It was a warm smile, it sent shivers of delight through his body.**

" **You are on this voyage with your Mother?", he asked, casually making conversation, and nodding to passengers that he knew.**

" **Yes, I am. I am going home with my mother back to America", she answered, smiling to others that she knew, courtesy of her mother.**

" **Why are you frowning then?", he asked.**

" **My mother is trying to coerce me into marrying a man I do not love. I frown upon that thought", Jocelyn answered, without a forward thought. Then she started wondering why she was answering these questions.**

" **You are not married then?", he asked, casually nodding his head to another passenger.**

" **No, I am not. And, if I may ask, what about you? Are you married?", she asked.**

" **No. My parents frown on that fact that I spend my time out on the sea. I never even tried marriage", he answered.**

" **You are from England then?", she asked.**

" **Yes, I am. You are young, I hate the way women are treated in this society", he replied, sadness in his voice.**

" **What do you mean?", Jocelyn asked, walking into the dining room.**

" **What I mean is, the way parents treat their daughters. They force them into a marriage for title, money. They live the rest of their lives miserable", he answered, quietly. He nodded to a few more passing people, while thoughts went through her head. She never even thought that a man would even think something like that.**

" **It is true. Money does not buy happiness, my mother seems to think different", Jocelyn whispered, as they reached the table. **

**He pulled out a seat for her, and then took the seat beside her. Kathleen sat on the opposite side of Jocelyn. **

**All through dinner Jocelyn was very aware of the man who sat next to her. She was aware that she had answered a bunch of questions and she barely knew the man. Officer Moody was definitely attractive. Her hand had grazed his during dinner and she felt her pulse quicken.**

**She tried to stop the feelings surrounding her, but the man next to her was kind and gentle, she couldn't help liking him.**

**James sat beside her the whole time. He was amazed at how well the conversation had gone earlier. She was a beautiful woman, and her name was Jocelyn. It suited her in almost every way possible.**

**She was also trying to be forced into a marriage that she didn't want, that was something that somehow made him angry when he thought about it. No woman should be forced to marry a man that is not of their choosing.**

**It wasn't like the 1700's anymore, it was different now. Yet, people were still forced to marry. He disagreed with that very strongly. Something about Jocelyn made him want to tell her that everything would be alright. He knew it wouldn't be.**

**After dinner, the men headed for the smoking room. Officer Moody got up and Jocelyn looked up at him with those big brown oceans of chocolate, or so it seemed to him.**

" **Must you leave?", she asked, quietly.**

" **I should get back. I am on duty in an hour", he replied, " That dinner was wonderful. I am very glad to have met you." He picked up her hand, and kissed it softly.**

" **I am glad to have met you as well. I hope to see you again", she replied, as he straightened and left, looking over his shoulder once at her, then disappearing beyond a corner.**

" **I take it you like that man", Kathleen suggested.**

" **He is a great man, I think", Jocelyn replied, turning back to the table.**

" **He is nice. But, Jocelyn, seriously, he is an officer", her mother remarked, " A sixth officer, at that."**

" **So? What is your point?", Jocelyn asked.**

" **I am just saying that you would not be able to get the things that you desire", her mother replied.**

" **No, Mother. The things you want. I don't care about fancy things. I can live without them. I can not live my life miserable with having a friendship, love is even better", Jocelyn answered, sipping her water. Then, without waiting for a reply, she got up and left the table.**

**Jocelyn ended up outside on the deck. It was somewhat cool outside, but she didn't notice it. She needed to blow off some steam. She started walking around the deck and ended up at the bow of the deck.**

**She looked over the edge and breathed in the salty air of the ocean. She took out her hair, and let it flow down her back. The wind carried it in the air and she leaned her head back. She held onto the railing and breathed deep. She got up onto the railing and held onto one of the ropes from the mast.**

**She let the wind carry her hair and blow her dress. She closed her eyes and smiled. She opened them and looked up at the stars. They were so beautiful, and free. She longed for freedom. **

**James looked over the captain's deck and saw a figure standing at the bow. He saw the dress, and realized it was a woman. He started down to the bow, to see what was wrong.**

**When he got down there, though, he recognized the dress, it was Jocelyn's. Her hair was free and flowing in the wind behind her. She was holding onto a rope connected to the mast, and she was standing on the railing. He gently walked towards her, and seeing her hair whip around in the air was doing strange things to him.**

" **Jocelyn?", he asked, gently.**

**She turned at the sound of the man's voice. It belonged to Officer Moody, she realized. " Officer Moody", she murmured.**

" **What are you doing?", he asked, his voice still soft.**

" **I was enjoying the breeze and the stars", she smiled, sending tingling sensations down his body.**

**He looked up at the stars, and gently smiled. She was right, they were free. " And why might you be doing that?", he asked, his voice still soft and gentle, yet controlled.**

" **I can not be like them. The stars are free to be where they are. They do not have mothers who try to curb them and make them the "proper lady"", she snorted in disgust, " How I long for freedom."**

**He looked at her now sad face and felt a strange tug at his heart. He hadn't known her for very long, but there was something about her that just made him want to take her away from the pain of the world. **

" **I do not see how your mother could think that you are not the proper lady. You are more of a lady than a lot of women around the world", he replied, looking down at the deck.**

**Jocelyn just looked at him. Had he really said that? She didn't think so. She was pretty sure she was just dreaming. " Thank you", she answered, quietly.**

**He looked up at her and seen that strands of her hair were flying in front of her face, making her look more stunning. He had to catch his breath before saying, " You are welcome." She gave him another one of those smiles and again he had catch his breath. This woman had an effect on him like no other, and he rather enjoyed it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Falling In Love**

**Jocelyn watched as the coast of Ireland faded away from sight. There was only ocean in front of them, and she was enjoying every bit of it.**

**Her mother had not talked to her since last night. For that, Jocelyn was grateful. She had never been so angry with her mother before, but last night was the last straw. She had felt the freedom out there on the bow with James. James. She sighed to herself. He was a truly kind man.**

**He wasn't a married man, either. She smiled to herself, then wondered why she was even thinking about him. He excited her in ways no other man had, that's for sure. There was also this side to him, a gentle side, outside of his work demeanor. He had said that he would perhaps see her today, at lunch or shortly after.**

**Jocelyn breathed deep of the air, and then sighed contentedly to herself. This voyage would be her turn around. She would not be what her mother wanted her to be. She would be better. Happier. She had not known true happiness before, but she would now, and forever.**

**James watched Jocelyn at the stern of the ship watching Ireland fade away into the distance. She looked beautiful, and he couldn't get over how free she looked after she let her hair down last night.**

**She had smiled at him, and he felt something he'd never felt before. She was definitely a free spirit who had found that she could be unique, something rarely seen in women these days. **

**Jocelyn was indeed a rare find, and any man who got a hold of her heart would be very lucky. Suddenly, he felt very jealous at the thought of another man getting her heart. He didn't want her falling for someone else. He had just met her, and already she had changed him and made him feel things he had never felt before, never thought he would ever feel.**

**It scared him a little bit, these strange feelings. His mother had called him a free spirit, someone who would never settle down. Truth was, he wanted to, but he got wound up in his studies and then he was an officer. He had never really looked at women, but now he was looking, and he spotted something that he wanted.**

" **Moody", Captain Edward J. Smith greeted.**

" **Yes, Captain", James replied.**

" **Are you admiring the coast of Ireland?", Edward asked.**

" **I… well… not exactly, sir", James stuttered.**

" **Then, what are you looking at?", Edward asked, once again, the control and command in his voice.**

" **A girl, sir", James blushed.**

" **A girl?", Edward asked, " Hmm."**

" **Yes, sir", James agreed, blush still riding his cheeks.**

" **You are still on duty, are you not?", Edward asked, command seeping more evidently into his voice.**

" **Yes, sir. Sorry, sir", James replied, " I'll get back to work, sir."**

" **Alright. Well done, James. Keep trying, you will get her", Edward winked as he walked off.**

**James stood there with a confused expression on his face for a few moments, then took another look at Jocelyn before heading off to finish his duty.**

**Kathleen sat in her room staring at the mirror. She knew she should apologize to Jocelyn, but pride made her hold back. She was a mother, Jocelyn was a her daughter, a very young and clever one at that.**

**What Jocelyn said last night was false, or at least that's what she kept telling herself. She would not back off on the marriage priority. That was something that Kathleen would not give up on, no matter what her stubborn daughter did or said.**

**Pride was her fault, she had to admit that. It had been her downfall with her husband. She remembered what she felt like when she found out that she was pregnant. Anger. Hurt. Foolish. She promised herself that she would never feel those things again.**

**Yet, they were the very feelings that she was feeling right at that moment. She felt angry at Jocelyn, and she felt hurt by Jocelyn and her words. She even felt foolish that she let her daughter's words get to her. **

**She would not let her daughter and her words get to her, yet they had. It was a stupid thought for sure, but it didn't matter because what Jocelyn had said last night hurt her. She loved her daughter and she was only trying to help her, to protect her. Jocelyn was her first and only child, and nothing could get in the way of that.**

**Jocelyn was dressed for lunch and headed down to the dining room. She wore a dark emerald green dress that hugged to every curve of her body like she was wearing nothing. Except that she wore a corset like every day and she couldn't breath.**

**But then again, when she had seen James last night, she couldn****'****t breath either. She blushed at the thought of seeing him again. He had walked her to her door before he had left for his shift. She had gotten behind her door and giggled before she went to bed.**

**She had gotten up this morning with a smile on her face, and it hadn't left yet. She walked down the stairs with all the grace and elegance she could muster up. Though, she couldn't exactly get her hopes up, he might just go to bed. But, he had said he would, didn't he?**

**She walked toward the dining room, when she felt a hand on her elbow. She turned around and instantly a smile came to her lips.**

**When she smiled, he felt that little tug at his heart and the race of blood through his veins. " Hello, Jocelyn", he greeted her, bowing a little.**

" **Officer Moody", she smiled. She curtsied a little, but not too much.**

" **May I offer you an arm to lunch?", he asked, his tone steady and a smile playing in his eyes. He offered her an arm.**

" **Yes, you may", she replied, tucking her hand through the crook in his arm. They walked on, and James nodded his head to people he knew.**

**They got to the dining room, and he led her to a table and pulled out the chair.**

" **Thank you", she said, sitting down.**

" **You are quite welcome", he answered.**

**The waiter came and set down a glass of water for each of them.**

" **So, how did you end up on this ship?", Jocelyn asked, curiousness in her brown eyes.**

" **I was going to start on the Oceanic, but I was asked to be an officer on the newest ship in port and I took it****"****, he continued, ****"**** Titanic is a beauty of a ship, is she not?"**

" **A wonder, truly", she replied.**

**The waiter came back to take their orders, and they both had the lamb with mint sauce. He left again, and Jocelyn asked, " How old are you, James?"**

" **I'm twenty-four, and you?", he asked, taking a sip of his water.**

" **Eighteen", she answered.**

" **Eighteen?", he asked.**

" **Does that shock you?", Jocelyn replied.**

" **No, not at all. You just don't seem like eighteen, I would have guessed a little older, though. Twenty, maybe", he answered.**

" **Is there something wrong with being eighteen?", Jocelyn asked, getting ready to get up and storm out.**

" **No, nothing", he answered.**

**Jocelyn got up anyway and headed for the door, she wasn't hungry anyway. She walked out to the bow deck and stood there, looked out at the horizon. She couldn't shake the hurt that what he said caused.**

**She couldn't exactly imagine why it hurt, but it did. She was just eighteen. What was the matter with that? He had made it sound worse than it was. She wondered why it hurt so much.**

**James sat there a little shocked, and not quite sure what he had done wrong. **_**Women,**_** he thought. Was it something he had said about her age? He hadn't said anything wrong, or did he?**

**He couldn't help the feeling of guilt that washed over him at the hurt look in her eyes. He felt completely guilty, and he felt his heart twist. He had to find her and make things right. But first, where would she go?**

**Jocelyn stood there with her hands on the railing and her hair flying through the breeze once again. She had taken it down before lunch, and she was happy that she did.**

**She looked out at the horizon and kept concentrating on the ocean out ahead of them. She should go try to talk to her mother, but she didn't think that would help at all. Her mother would probably lecture her on falling in love with a man. Wait, hold on. Falling in love? When had that occurred? **_**Do I really love him? How can I be sure? I've only known him for a day, who says I am in love with this man?, **_**she thought.**

**A frown placed itself on her face, and she wondered if it was true. Did she love him? Did she fall in love with a man she barely knew? Her head was confused, but her heart said it all.**

**James walked down the hall from her room, there had been no answer. She wasn't there. He had looked around for the longest time, but couldn't find her. He past by Thomas Andrews, the ship's builder, but he had not seen Jocelyn either.**

**He had asked Jocelyn's maid, Ann, if she had seen her, and Ann had said that she hadn't seen Jocelyn since she was dressed for lunch. He had thanked her and then left her room. It was ridiculous, where would she go?**

**He remembered her mother and then turned around and headed for her room, maybe she knew where Jocelyn was.**

**Jocelyn faced her self to the wind and let the freedom of it wash over her. It calmed her down a bit. There was nothing like the ocean breeze to cool the emotions that were turmoiling inside her. When she thought about Thomas, nothing but disgust welled up in her, but when she thought about James, everything inside melted.**

**Her pulse quickened and her heart rate accelerated. Her heart did little flip-flops inside her chest. Her breathing quickened and then stopped when he smiled at her. **

**She didn't know what love felt like, but was what she was felling it? Could it be that exact feeling? Sure, she cared for him, but how far? She needed to know that answer.**

**James Moody walked along the deck still looking for her. He looked everywhere, but she was no where in sight. Her mother hadn't spoken to her since last night. He just about gave up hope, when he looked out at the bow. Standing there, holding the rails, with her ever beautiful hair flying around in the breeze, was Jocelyn.**

**He smiled, in spite of himself. Of course, why wouldn't she go there? Then he laughed, and started heading for the bow. What he would say, he had absolutely no idea.**

**He walked up behind her and said, " Hello, Jocelyn."**

**She turned and smiled toward him. " James, what are you doing here?", Jocelyn asked.**

" **I tried looking for you. I thought I ought to apologize. I didn't mean to sound like you being eighteen was a bad thing. Because, it isn't. I am so sorry", he apologized.**

" **Apology excepted. I didn't mean to run off like that. You just made it sound like a bad thing, and I do not have any idea why I acted like that", Jocelyn smiled. It was generally a warm smile that touched her eyes and lit them up. Reason flew out the door as he walked up to her.**

**She looked as if she had stopped breathing. His face was mere inches from hers when he whispered, " You have captivated me, Jocelyn." Then, he kissed her. Long and slow. Gentle every step of the way. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her close to him. She didn't even try to stop him. Didn't want to. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer to him.**

**He pulled away from her, but didn't let her go. She gave him that smile again, and he gently bent down and kissed her again. She had wrapped her arms around him, and wound herself around his heart, both of them he didn't mind.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Taking Chances**

**Jocelyn walked along, hand-in-hand with James. They had talked and laughed. She didn't need the breeze to make her feel free, all she needed was James. She smiled, she knew he felt it too.**

**She frowned when she thought about what her mother would say. **

" **Jocelyn, what is wrong?", James asked, softly. He had concern and some other emotion she couldn't name, but knew it was wonderful, resided in his eyes.**

" **I just thought. My mother. She would never allow it. Us", she frowned.**

" **Do you really have to tell her?", James asked.**

" **I do not know. I suppose not", she smiled at the thought of being even more mischievous than her mother thought her to be.**

" **Well, there you go. Settled", James answered. Jocelyn smiled and he felt his heart warm at the thought. He stopped her and looked into her eyes.**

**Jocelyn could see the longing in his eyes. She smiled to give him courage, and he bent down and kissed the smile off her lips, trying to absorb it. He pulled away then pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. She held onto him and pressed her face into his chest.**

**She knew he had to leave for his 4p.m.-5p.m. shift. She didn't want to let him go. He bent down to her face, and whispered, " Meet me at the clock." Jocelyn just nodded. He kissed her then left.**

**Jocelyn headed back to her room, when she seen her mother heading for her. A scowl on her face.**

" **Jocelyn Marie Fleming, was that a man I saw you kissing?", her mother nearly hissed as she approached.**

**Jocelyn lifted her head in determination, and replied, " Yes, Mother. It was. Get that scowl off your face."**

" **Jocelyn! How rude", her mother gasped.**

" **It is none of your business with whom I am with", Jocelyn sneered.**

" **I make it my business. You are my daughter-", her mother got cut off.**

" **So you keep reminding me. Mother, I am quite capable of handling myself", Jocelyn replied, quietly, but with an assured voice.**

" **I see that you are not! An officer. Have you got no sense?", Kathleen half-gasped, half-sneered.**

" **I have plenty of sense", Jocelyn replied, calmly.**

**James watched from just around the corner and admired Jocelyn's determination. She had fire, and he loved every bit of it, of her. He loved her, that was the only explanation, or at least the only logical one that he could think of.**

" **Are you sure you have sense? What would you be doing with an officer then?", Kathleen asked.**

" **Yes, I have sense. At least I have emotions. And what would I be doing with an officer? Hmm… let's see. I have friends, and I have people who are more than friends, which is more than I can say for you", Jocelyn replied.**

" **Why? Why would you even be with him?", her mother shrieked.**

" **Because, Mother, I love him", Jocelyn replied.**

**James smiled at the thought of her words. He knew how she felt, and that was all he wanted to know, so he left and went to go for his duty, or he would never be an officer for another ship in his life.**

" **You love him? Does he know this? By God, you just met the boy, how would you know if you love him?", her mother shot off a whole lot of questions, none of which Jocelyn wanted to answer, but now had no choice.**

" **Yes, Mother, I do. No he does not. I get these feelings I have never felt with another man before. My heart does little flip-flops when he is around, my pulse quickens, my heart beat accelerates. I feel this stuff even when he is not with me. I am drawn to him with every fibre of my being. I love him", Jocelyn pleaded.**

" **Does he love you back?", her mother asked.**

**Jocelyn's smile faded into a frown as she thought about that. She hadn't told him yet, but he had not said anything either. She had no idea. " I do not know", Jocelyn answered, quietly. She bowed her head and looked at her feet.**

**Her mother put her arm gently around Jocelyn's shoulders and led her away. It was four o'clock, and they needed to get a dress picked out for dinner.**

**The one dress they picked out was a burgundy red colour that had a bodice embroidered in little beads that were a lighter shade of burgundy than the dress. There was a slight train on the gown, and white gloves that went with it.**

**Her hair was swept up in a bun that was as tight as hell on her head. She felt like she was about to be sold off at some auction as a porcelain doll. She had to admit that she was beautiful, but inside she didn't really care if she was or not, she just wanted to see James. After dinner, she would.**

**She walked to dinner with her mother. Before they walked into the room, Jocelyn felt her mother touch her arm and pull her back. Jocelyn stopped and pulled to the side of the doors.**

**Her mother looked at her and said, " About last night, I am sorry for acting that way. I did not mean to sound so cruel. I just do not want to see your heart broken."**

" **I love you, Mother. You know that. I said some cruel things last night that I feel I should take back", Jocelyn replied, tears coming to her eyes.**

" **But they were no less than true. I accept them. Just keep some part of you guarded", her mother scolded gently, " Not like I did."**

" **I will, thank you", Jocelyn returned, " Let's go eat." And they did.**

**Jocelyn left not too long after the men left for the smoke and brandy, and headed back to her room to change.**

" **Ann?", she called, entering her room.**

**Her maid came around the corner with a curtsy. " Yes, Miss?", she answered.**

" **Would you help into something a little less formal? One of my day dresses, maybe", Jocelyn replied.**

" **Yes, Miss", the maid headed for her wardrobe.**

**She brought over a lighter coloured dress, with many layers, but it looked less heavy than the dress she was currently wearing. It was a beautiful dress, she admired it greatly.**

" **That is perfect", Jocelyn smiled.**

**Ann helped her into the dress, and then she left for the clock. When she walked down the stairs, James was already at the clock. He turned just a few steps before she got down to him.**

**She smiled at him. He looked at her with those eyes that she could get lost in. He offered her his hand and she placed hers in his. His fingers felt warm against hers.**

**He leaned down and kissed her, gently, sweetly. She twined her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer against his body. They walked out to the bow and there, he stood behind her and held her against him. She leaned her head against chest. It felt right.**

**She looked at the stars, and he let his hands guide him as he gently started to undo her hair. He pulled it out, pin by pin, letting sections of her hair fall softly around her. He took the pins, once they were all out, and put them into his pocket. **

**She turned around and faced him. He had to suck in a breath at the stunning picture of the woman in front of him. Her hair flowed around her in the breeze, it flowed up enough that it caressed his cheek and he felt a tremor go through his body.**

" **Are you cold?", she asked, softly, her voice near a whisper. It caressed him like a gentle breeze rolling through the trees.**

" **Not when I am with you", he answered. He pulled her against him and kissed her, gently, yet filled with a passion that she had never known in her life. If he had not been holding her, she might have fallen.**

**It was a thorough kiss, and they both felt the heat rise between them. She took his hand and led him towards her room. She needed him with a fierceness she had never known.**

**Once she opened the door, he figured out what was going on, and he knew she felt what he had when they had kissed on the bow.**

" **James, will you undo the zipper at the back of my dress?", she asked, nervous, but more excited than ever.**

" **Are you sure you want me to?", he asked.**

" **Yes", she breathed. She had made her decision.**

**He stepped up behind her and she lifted her hair so he could get the zipper. He took the zipper and pulled it slowly down her back caressing her with his fingers as he did so.**

**She trembled as the zipper slowly slid down her back, finally the dress was free to be taken off. She stepped away so she could take it off. When she did, she still had her corset and other undergarments to take off. He slid off his hat by then and shed his overcoat. She turned to put the dress back when she felt his breath at her neck. Then she felt fingers gently tugging at the strings that held her corset together. It seemed she could not breath again.**

**He removed the corset and she removed the rest of her undergarments. She slowly turned around and he gazed her up and down, slowly. She put her hands on his chest as he pulled her closer to his body.**

**He kissed her, slowly, lazily, as she removed the buttons of his shirt. She felt heat tingle through her body when he lazily let his hands gently rub down her back and up again. He picked her up as soon as shirt was tossed, and carried her to the bed. He gently laid her down.**

**Everywhere he touched turned her to liquid heat. He let his instincts guide him since he was inexperienced in that field. They made love many times that night, over and over pleasure carried them to heaven, together. They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A Fear of Betrayal**

**Jocelyn awoke the next morning, and rolled over. She was naked. Then, she felt the heat of the body beside her and she remembered what had happened last night.**

**She turned on her other side to look at his sleeping face. She looked at the clock on the table beside the bed. It was near 7:00a.m. that morning. She laid her head on his chest and his arms went around her. He held her to his body and breathed in the scent of her hair.**

**Jocelyn had never known love, but now that she had, she would never let it go. But, did he love her back? Or was what happened last night just lust? She frowned at the thought. She would not push him, but she needed to know how he felt.**

**Jocelyn slid from her bed and headed for her maid's room. She got Ann out of bed, and went to fetch her clothes and undergarments. Then she headed for Ann's room to get dressed.**

**Ann had peaked around the corner of Jocelyn's door and seen a man in her room, in her bed. The maid blushed. Jocelyn came to the door with her clothes, and seen Ann standing there, blushing. She knew she was caught.**

**Ann waited until they got back to her room, before saying, " I'm sorry, Miss. I did not mean to peek."**

" **You seen him, did you not?", Jocelyn asked.**

" **Yes, Miss", Ann whispered.**

" **Mother would not approve, but she does not need to know. She thinks I am still young", Jocelyn smiled.**

" **I think she wants you to be happy", the maid added, " Miss."**

" **When I am with James, I am happy. I love him, you see. There is one problem with that. I do not know if he loves me back", Jocelyn frowned.**

" **I do not know of love, Miss. I wish I could tell you, but I can not", the maid saddened.**

" **Love is beautiful. A feeling like any other. The longing to be with that one person. The butterflies in your stomach at the sight of the person. The way my heart flip-flops when I see him", Jocelyn recalled, lost in thought.**

**Ann smiled. She had never been in love before. She wished it, oh how she wished it. No man had ever swept her off her feet. When she was younger, she always thought that a prince on a horse might come and swoop her away from where she was. That never happened though.**

" **You are lucky, Miss. I always dreamed a prince would sweep me off my feet and carry me away in the sunset. I always hoped for love, but so far, I have never gotten anything", the maid frowned as she tightened the corset.**

" **I believe when you are not looking, love finds you", Jocelyn said. She could not stop smiling and she could not for the life of her figure out why.**

" **Miss, I envy you. You have found love. You have everything anyone could ever dream of having. And, you can not stop smiling", Ann blushed a scarlet red.**

" **If my mother seen me, she would call me a fool. And, I can not find it in me to deny it", Jocelyn giggled.**

" **Perhaps we are all fools, Miss", Ann smiled a small smile as she did up Jocelyn's shy blue dress. **

**It was just a day dress, it wasn't fancy or frilly. It was perfect, Jocelyn had always loved blue. Preferably sky blue. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and continued to smile. She loved how it brought out her eyes. Blue had always done that to her. It also brought out the warmest in her, exactly like James did.**

**James awoke and found the one person he expected to see, not there. Jocelyn was no longer in bed. He rolled over and got up. Exactly when the door opened and her mother strode in.**

**Kathleen stopped short at the man in Jocelyn's bed. She was shocked and turned around and was about to walk out again when Jocelyn entered.**

" **Jocelyn", her mother gasped, " There is a man in your bed."**

" **Yes", Jocelyn answered, " There is."**

" **There is a **_**naked**_** man in your bed", her mother emphasized and looked as if she were to faint.**

**Jocelyn nodded. " I know, Mother. I am not blind", Jocelyn replied, wryly.**

" **Why?", her mother asked, catching her breath.**

" **Why what?", Jocelyn asked, innocently. She knew she should not be playing games with her mother, but the amusement and her good mood made her want to play.**

" **You know what I mean, young lady. Why is there a naked man in your bed?", her mother asked, angrily.**

" **Why do you think there is a naked man in my bed, Mother?", Jocelyn asked, still clearly amused. She looked over her mother's shoulder at James who was now getting dressed.**

" **Jocelyn", her mother gasped, " In front of a man. How dare you act that way."**

" **Well, Mother. It was a pretty stupid question to ask. I mean, there is a naked man in my bed, why did you think there was a naked man in my bed?", Jocelyn asked, wryly, and rolled her eyes.**

" **Well, how was I supposed to know?", her mother asked, angry.**

" **It is not like I am going to tell you when I plan to be intimate. That is a personal matter. And, why are you in my room at all in the first place?", Jocelyn asked, sobering up but still amused. She looked over her shoulder and seen that James was now fully dressed. " Mother, may I introduce Officer James Moody", Jocelyn announced.**

**Her mother turned around and found the man now dressed in an officer's uniform. " Officer, you say?", she asked. She studied him as thought inspecting a horse. Jocelyn rolled her eyes once more.**

" **Yes, ma'am. Sixth Officer, actually", he replied, nervous, clearly, but he tried not to show it.**

" **Charming, I am sure", her mother regarded.**

**He looked around to the clock and said, " Excuse me, ma'am, Jocelyn. I have my shift starting in a few minutes. I must be on my way."**

" **Of course", both women chimed.**

**James went to walk by her mother and then stopped at Jocelyn. He bent down to her and whispered to her ear, " I will see you later then, will I not?"**

**She giggled softly and nodded. **

**He bent down and gently kissed her and then left. **

**Her mother turned around with a scowl on her face and asked, " What was that?"**

**Jocelyn looked innocently at her mother then answered, " I have no idea what you mean."**

" **I mean, the giggling, and the kisses. What is going on with you?", her mother asked.**

" **I am happy. That is all. Nothing to get mad about", Jocelyn replied, lifting her chin determinedly.**

" **You are different now. Something has gotten into you. You are strange, rebellious, not at all like my little girl", her mother answered, saddened.**

" **Mother, I am not a little girl anymore. You need to realize that. I have found someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with", Jocelyn declared.**

" **Him?", her mother asked, noting the defying lift in her daughter's chin.**

" **Yes, Mother. **_**Him**_**. He has a name, you know", Jocelyn gritted through clenched teeth.**

" **Officer Moody, I know. And, what is this? You calling him James, I mean", Kathleen asked.**

" **He calls me Jocelyn", Jocelyn replied, defiantly.**

" **I noticed", her mother muttered.**

" **Look, Mother. I love him, that is all there is to it. I will not argue with you over this", Jocelyn said.**

" **You are exactly like your father", Kathleen stated.**

" **So I am. And proud of it. I am not someone to be commanded, I do what I wish", Jocelyn sneered.**

" **And you wish to marry an officer?", her mother almost sounded amused.**

" **I had never thought of that", Jocelyn admitted, " I love him, though."**

" **Trust me, love is just… well, love. Inconceivable and hurts like hell", her mother murmured, as she pulled her saddened daughter into her arms.**

" **I do not even know if he loves me back. But, last night… what happened between us", she sobbed. Then as tears ran down her cheeks, anger welled up in her.**

**Kathleen felt her daughter's body stiffen in her arms and she pulled back slightly. Jocelyn's beautiful face was now holding shame and anger. " Jocelyn, what is it?". she asked, cautiously.**

" **Are men always so cruel? Do they always use us for their personal satisfaction?", Jocelyn asked, through clenched teeth. Her heart was breaking at the realization that he used her, and she felt even more angry at herself for allowing nothing more than passion to flow through her.**

" **Jocelyn, men are men. They do as they wish. We are supposed to be gentle, kind creatures, and naturally, we are. Men are only for one purpose, creating children", she answered, " Yes, a lot of the time, the satisfaction is only for them."**

" **I will never get married", Jocelyn declared, angrily.**

" **Never get married? Jocelyn, Do you not think you are over reacting just a little?", her mother asked.**

" **No. I will never be any man's housewife. I will not take orders, and I will not sit around the house raising children", Jocelyn announced. There was that defying lift in her chin again, and her mother knew she could not change her mind.**

" **Jocelyn. I know how you must feel. Betrayed. Hurt. Angry. I felt that way too. Men can be demanding, but you love him", Kathleen said.**

" **Maybe I do, but that does not stop me from being angry. I need to go for a walk", Jocelyn announced, heading for the door. She headed for the daylight to walk off her anger and hurt. That made her feel vulnerable, and she did not like the feel of that.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Doubts**

**Jocelyn did not like being angry. She scowled at the ocean and wished a wave would come and wash her away. Better yet, she wished James would wash away in a wave. She had sat in her room after her first walk and cried for a couple of hours.**

**She started walking through the hallways and ended up on the deck. She tried to remember the date. It was April 14****th****. Two and a half days at sea, and in three days she managed to fall in love.**

**It was just getting to noon hour and she thought about going for something to eat. She had not eaten breakfast that morning. She was too stunned at the fact that James could have used he could have used her that way.**

**But, she could not help having doubts that he would. After what had happened between them, could he really use her that way? Her head said yes because he was a man, but her heart said no. Why? She did not exactly know.**

**Her mother had left her to her thoughts and had not tried talking to her and that was what she really needed. She needed to think, but she did not want to think about James. Or did she? She was tired of feeling confused, but the only emotion she could place right now was love.**

**Jocelyn could still feel his arms around her. He had held her tight, protected her. From what, she could not entirely say. It puzzled her that he could hold her that way knowing that he used her, but what if he hadn't used her? What if his feelings were genuine? She shook away all the questions, right now, she wanted answers.**

**James looked around for Jocelyn. She was the perfect picture of a woman that he could actually see spending his life with. He remembered how it felt to hold her in his arms. To feel her lips parting underneath his.**

**He had been taken with her from the moment he laid eyes on her walking down those stairs on the first night of the journey. She looked so beautiful, in an eternal way. It was something he had never seen before. Probably would never see again.**

**He wanted to tell her how he felt. He had heard her with her mother yesterday, she had said that she loved him. He didn't believe that it was just something that she said to get her mother mad.**

**He did not have a doubt about last night and what they shared. He had not made love before, therefore he could only guess that her response was something that mattered greatly.**

**He stared out at the waters that lay before him. New York. She lived there, he did not. His home was in England, her home was there, in America. He would sacrifice all of it just to be with her. He wanted to be by Jocelyn's side, to see their children running around and her arms around him as she smiled up at him. He could picture it.**

**James smiled. The sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. It really was beautiful to be out on the sea. He had heard stories of the men that sailed the seas, and he wanted to know if it really was as beautiful as they say, and it was.**

" **Mr. Moody", Captain Smith said.**

" **Yes, sir", James replied.**

" **It is about high noon", Captain Smith breathed, " It is a very beautiful day, is it not?"**

" **It is", James agreed.**

" **What's wrong, James?", Captain Smith asked. There was concern in the old man's eyes. Captain Smith did look after his officers and crew. There was no mistaking that.**

**James blushed a scarlet red, and answered, " Nothing. You were right, sir. I did keep going and I got the girl."**

" **Really? Good for you, Mr. Moody", Captain Smith congratulated.**

" **Thank you, sir", James replied.**

" **It is high noon, Mr. Moody. Your shift is over. You will be working an 8p.m.-12a.m. shift tonight instead of your 4-5p.m. shift", Captain Smith announced.**

" **Alright, sir. I will be here", James said, then walked off.**

**Captain Smith stared after the young man. He had noticed Officer Moody's behaviour changing the day after they set sail. It was obvious that he had fallen in love. Captain Smith smiled, the boy would end up on land with a beautiful wife and adoring children, instead of living his days on the ocean, alone.**

**Jocelyn felt no use in hiding, it was pointless. James was an officer, and he knew the ship almost as good as Thomas Andrews. So, she sat on the deck and stared at the sky. No matter what she did, she still loved James. **

**She had her doubts about a betrayal. She was pretty sure that James would not do that sort of thing. He was a well mannered man who she had falsely accused. She loved him and there was no end to that just yet. Sure, all men could be rats sometimes, but she knew she had to give James a second chance.**

**Jocelyn found herself excited at seeing him again. That had to be a good thing. She wanted to find her mother though, because she just needed someone to talk to. Sure she should just wait for James, but patience was never one of her strong suits.**

**Jocelyn walked down to the dining room, it was lunchtime so she figured her mother would most likely be down there. Once down there, she searched the room until she found the person that she sought.**

**Once she reached her mother she said, " Excuse me, Mother. I was wondering if I may sit with you and your guests."**

**Kathleen looked up into the eyes of her daughter and replied, " Of course, darling. Sit, please."**

**Jocelyn sat. The waiter came and she asked for a glass of water. Her throat felt dry. Maybe it was the air outside. **

**Kathleen looked at her daughter and then back at her guests. They were a couple of women that Jocelyn did not know. Kathleen had just met them yesterday on the deck. They seemed friendly enough so Kathleen asked to join them for a stroll. They agreed and the next thing she knew they had invited her to tea that night and the next afternoon.**

**The waiter came with Jocelyn's glass of water and she sipped it gracefully. Her mother had taught her to be graceful and elegant in the face of company. Elegance was something that Jocelyn never really liked to do, but did it only for her mother's approval.**

**Jocelyn spoke only when spoken to, as her mother had taught her. Jocelyn relished that sometimes, well, most of the time actually. She was naturally a quiet person, with a shy nature but she thought that a moot point considering the way she had acted the night before.**

**That thought brought a fresh blush of red to her cheeks. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she excused herself and left. It could have been only minutes, but Jocelyn found herself waiting for James to show himself. He didn't, and that worried her.**

**Jocelyn walked around the deck searching for him, but came up empty. She frowned. Then, she looked out at the bow, and he was not there. She walked back and looked at the stern section, but he was not there either.**

**She ended up standing at the stern section with a frown continually creasing her brow. She did not like this worry she had over him, he was probably just late getting out of his shift. **_**That has to be the reason, **_**she thought. Putting on a smile that she did not feel, she left to go back to her room.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Confusion and Accusations**

**Jocelyn entered her room with one invading thought, **_**Where was James?**_** It was not something that she took lightly. She felt an unfamiliar emotion settle in the pit of her stomach. Jealousy? Could it be? Jocelyn pushed the thought away.**

**It kept coming back. Jocelyn kept thinking if he was detained by something. Or some**_**one**_**, perhaps? That was a ridiculous thought. Or was it? She knew that humans were not completely perfect, but would James really do that to her? He could not. **_**Ah, but he could, **_**her mind kept saying.**

**Jocelyn frowned to herself. She was getting a head ache. Not that she needed it, of course. She wanted to see James, to admit to him that she loved him. So, where was he?**

**Jocelyn did not like the turn of her thoughts, but then again, she had only known James for the past two and a half days, not even that. So, it could be possible that he had another woman that was keeping him preoccupied on this voyage. She felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes, and the anger that welled up in her body.**

**Jocelyn could not fight this, it was just a natural feeling of jealousy. She did not like what James had done to her. He had turned her into a complete love struck schoolgirl. She did not know what to feel, except the anger that she knew for certain welled up inside her. **

**She was right, though, she did not want to get married. She just wanted to forget James, forget what he did to her body, her heart. What was she supposed to do about that anyway? She did not know. Could she step off this ship in New York and say goodbye to him? No. Did she want to? No. So, just what was she supposed to do? Another I don't know came to mind.**

**She was more confused than a dog trying to chase his tail. Her head was pounding now, a complete migraine. She needed something, anything, to get her mind off of James. But, with a resigned sigh, the only thing she could do was pace.**

**James sat in the officers' quarters. He had wanted to go to Jocelyn, he had looked for her, and he wanted to be with her. But, he could not find it in him to get his legs moving. He had been awake for most of the night with Jocelyn, and then on his feet for the next four hours after that. **

**James almost settled for sleep, but his mind and body were elsewhere. Clearly, his body wanted to with Jocelyn, and so did his mind. And his heart. A woman did all that. She made him want her with a passion. She had him in mind, body, and soul. **

**Every waking thought was spent on her. **_**So this is what it's like to fall in love, **_**he thought. One woman, one stranger. Love was not something James ever considered. He had never tried. Never wanted to. Until he met Jocelyn.**

**Jocelyn. His body hardened in response to just her name, and she was not even with him. That first night he had seen her, he had had butterflies in his stomach. He had never experienced that. It felt wonderful and scary at the same time.**

**Just like love. It was wonderful, and scary at the same time. Surely, it could even be downright painful. The only thing that mattered to him right now was being with Jocelyn. She had all of him, but he needed her to know it. She was worth the risk of everything.**

**James got up out of the bed and went to find her. Instinct told him to go to the bow deck, but his heart said go to her room. He headed down the direction of her room, letting his heart lead the way.**

**Jocelyn paced the floor over and over again. She just could not figure everything out. Her feelings were so strange to her. She kept wondering where James might be, but every time she thought of the alternative to her reasonable answer, her stomach churned and her heart hurt.**

**Every feeling was alien to her, the jealousy, the anger-although that was not exactly an uncommon emotion with her-, and the love. She had never considered love before, not even for marriage. She had never thought of marriage either, until James came along.**

**Every emotion she was experiencing right now was all because of him. She had let her guard down, she had dropped her defences. It was not exactly the smart thing to do, but the consequences were yet to be seen.**

**A knock at her door brought her back to reality. She walked over to it, and opened the door. James stood on the other side. She looked at him with an almost stunned expression, mixed with a sort of surprise.**

" **Hello, Jocelyn", he half-whispered.**

" **Hi", she noticed the breathy note to her voice, and smiled, " Would you like to come inside?"**

" **Actually, I was hoping we could take a walk", he responded.**

**She looked into his eyes for anything that might be the reason for a walk. Than, a thought struck her. Could he be trying to break it off with her? Did he have someone else that he was turning to? He did have the charms, and the officer uniform probably help attract women.**

" **Yeah, sure", she said.**

**They left for the walk, a feeling of dread washing over her. She walked carefully along the floor, wishing the feeling of tears was not about to overcome her.**

**They continued on until they got to the deck, then he stopped her. She turned towards him, feeling a sob choke up her throat but she did not have any tears as of yet. That would come after the blow.**

" **Jocelyn", he sighed.**

" **James. What is it?", she tried to force a cool note to her voice and failed miserably.**

" **It's just that, well, when we met, I-", he started.**

" **Let me guess, you only wanted a night of fun, right? Just wanted your satisfaction, and then leave. You do not want a relationship, is that right? You are breaking it off with me, are you not?", Jocelyn accused. She had the tears in her eyes now, and she could not stop them from falling. **

**Jocelyn turned to leave, but James grabbed her arm and swung her around, right into his arms. He held her tight against him and ignored the looks of people passing by. He continued to hold her as she sobbed against his chest. She did not try to pull away, and he did not want her to. **

**Where on earth had she gotten the idea that he was trying to break it off with her? Then, a realization came to him, he had said that he wanted to go for a walk instead of being in her room, so naturally she had thought he wanted to break it off. He had also said it quite seriously. But, she obviously cared enough that she was crying right now, and he had not told her the real reason for wanting to talk to her. **

**She finally quieted down enough to tell her that maybe they should keep walking. They ended up on the stern deck. She looked out at the ocean with tears still brimming her eyes. There would be quite a scandal after what had happened on the deck.**

" **Jocelyn", he started. He instantly felt the response in his body as it hardened when he said her name.**

" **If you are about to say what I am pretty sure you are about to say, I do not want to hear it", she replied, almost coldly. She was trying to hide the hurt he had already seen.**

" **I am not. So, do you want to hear what I actually have to say?", he asked, cautiously.**

" **I guess,", she sighed. She still did not look at him, for fear of hearing what she had thought he was about to say.**

" **Very well. Jocelyn, I need you to look at me", he began.**

**She hesitated before turning towards him. She did not want him to see any hurt that was in her eyes. She had often been told that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and held every emotion that a person is feeling. She did not want him to see inside her soul, or her emotions right now.**

" **Thank you. Now, Jocelyn, what happened last night was beautiful, wonderful. I have never felt so complete before, and I know I never will again. I am not leaving you, nor do I have another woman, I do not know what made you think that", he said.**

" **You were late", she murmured.**

" **Late?", he asked.**

" **Yes, you were. Your shift ended at noon, and yet after half an hour you still were not with me. Naturally, my curiosity got peaked. My mind started racing, and I started to worry. After another hour, you were not there, and well my mind started thinking, and my thoughts took a wicked turn. Again, after another hour of not seeing you, doubts and fear started crawling through me. My mind could only think of one reason you were delayed", she told him.**

" **Jealous, my love?", he asked, a teasing light to his tone.**

" **Yes, for a time, then I got mad. What was I supposed to think? You are a very attractive man, a woman ought to be crazy not to try and throw herself at you", Jocelyn huffed. She didn't even give it a second thought that he had called her 'my love'.**

" **Well, thank you. Now, I understand why you thought that I was breaking up with you. And, now to offer why I was late. First of all, the only woman I have made love to since I have been on this voyage is you, and you have my word on that. I have no other lover. I was simply trying to get some sleep, that is all. I spent most of the night up, with you. Then, I was on my feet for four hours. I was tired, but my mind kept wandering to you. I need to tell you something", he replied.**

**Then, the dinner horn blew, and they had to start for dinner. He escorted her back to her cabin so she could dress, and he left to go to his cabin so he could rest for a little bit. What he wanted to tell her would have to wait until later, but not much later, he would need to see her before eight. **

_**I know that this chapter has been a bit slow, and I have not updated in quite a few days. I am sorry for all the readers out there who enjoy this story. I have been quite busy with my lofe outside of my stories. I will have another chapter up as soon as possible.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: No More Doubts**

**Jocelyn went to dinner with a thoughtful look on her face. She kept thinking about the last words James had said, " **_**First of all, the only woman I have made love to since I have been on this voyage is you, and you have my word on that. I have no other lover. I was simply trying to get some sleep, that is all. I spent most of the night up, with you. Then, I was on my feet for four hours. I was tired, but my mind kept wandering to you. I need to tell you something."**_** Jocelyn kept wondering what he wanted to tell her. **_**Perhaps, **_**she thought, **_**I need to go and find him and see what he needed to tell her.**_

**Her mother gazed at her awhile, trying to figure out what Jocelyn was thinking, but she could not even guess. So, she turned back to her conversations with one of her new acquaintances, Sandra Hart.**

**Jocelyn ate sparingly, she really was not very hungry. She did love James, she knew it, felt it. She had to tell him, that was the only way she would get any peace. Everything he had told her this afternoon settled in, and she believed him. She just wanted to know what he needed to tell her.**

**She felt excited, and decided once dinner was done that she would go and find him. If everything was explained, than there would be no secrets. She had experienced more than what she had bargained for on this voyage, and she couldn't say that she was sorry about it either. **

**She left to go seek out James because she was tired of resisting him, and she believed everything he had told her, she just needed to tell him that she loved him. Knowing she had never done something so brazen made her feel an excitement that she relished for the time being.**

**James knew that dinner would be over by now, he had eaten long ago, after he had managed to sleep. It was just short of seven o'clock.**

**He still had to tell Jocelyn everything that he had not told her earlier, which was not much besides the fact that he loved her. He wanted to tell her everything, all his feelings, just so the air would be clear.**

**James still recalled her muffled sobs into his chest, and it tore him apart. He did not want anything hanging between them anymore. He wanted to tell her that when the ship docked, he would be by her side.**

**James got up and put on his officer hat, and then he headed for the hallway. He needed to find Jocelyn, and he could not stop the smile from creeping up onto his face.**

**Jocelyn headed for the bow of the shop, she knew that he would surely see her there. She was wearing her dinner dress, and her hair had been taken out by Ann. She had heard that it was quite cold out, so she put on the coat she had with her. It was dark by then, just short of seven o'clock when she had left her cabin.**

**She held onto the rail and gazed out at the water below and ahead of them. Her hair ruffled a bit in the breeze, and she shivered. It was quite cold outside, and she reconsidered going back inside and heading for the dining room or her cabin.**

**She shook away the thoughts, then gazed out at the ocean before her. It was huge, and very still. **_**Eerily still, **_**she thought. Unease prickled her nerves, but she ignored it.**

**James was walking around the deck, he had just come from Jocelyn's room, but her maid, Ann, said that she was not there. He had wandered to the dining room, knowing that the men would be in the smoking room with a brandy, but that most women stayed in the dining room to gossip.**

**For a moment he gazed out at the ocean to the side of the ship. It was very calm, and flat. There was no water moving except for the water that was being pushed away from the **_**Titanic.**_

**He kept walking, and looking for any sign of Jocelyn. He got to the front of the deck and looked out at the ocean. His gaze roamed up to the tip of the bow, where he seen a lone figure standing at the bow. The figure appeared to be staring out at the flat, unmoving ocean.**

**He moved towards the figure, trying to figure out if it was a woman or a man at the bow. He got close enough that he seen long brown hair flowing down the person's back. That determined that it was woman.**

**Jocelyn stared out into the ocean, unaware that James was standing not too far away from her. She stood up straight and looked out at the black horizon. She still felt that prickle of unease, but she pushed it away.**

**James instantly recognized Jocelyn's form beneath the coat and moved closer to her.**

" **Jocelyn?", he said.**

**She whirled around, and she stared straight into the eyes of her love. She smiled at him.**

" **Hi, James", she sighed.**

" **It is freezing out here, Jocelyn, what are you doing out here?", he asked, concern shining in his eyes.**

" **I needed some fresh air", she answered.**

" **Hell of a way to get it", he replied as he stepped up to the railing beside her.**

" **I know, but I put on a coat", she said, turning to face him.**

" **You still look terribly cold. Come here", he coaxed, as he stretched out a hand.**

**She took his hand and he pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms all the way around her. She hugged him to her just as tightly. They both stayed like that, absorbing each other's warmth, relishing the feel of how it felt like to be in one another's arms again.**

" **Listen, Jocelyn, about what happened today, I want to let you know, I am so sorry", he said, as he gently set her from his body.**

**She looked at him, then at the floor, then back to him again.**

" **I understand. About my public display of tears, I did not mean for them to happen. But, they did", she replied, quietly. Her cheeks turned a brighter shade of red, if that was even possible.**

" **No need for apologies there. I completely understand. I need to tell you something. I know that the last time I said that, the dinner bell rang, but I will have no interruptions. The only lover I have ever had, the only lover I want is you. I just need to tell you", he cleared his throat, " I love you, Jocelyn."**

**She was quiet for a few moments, and she found that she could not breathe. His confession completely stunned her. She found her voice, and said, " Oh, James."**

**She put her arms around him and he hugged her back. Then she kissed him, lovingly, before whispering against his lips, " I love you too, James."**

**He smiled against her lips as he kissed her fiercely. They held each other for what seemed like hours, before letting go.**

" **I do not want you to ever have reason to doubt me again, Jocelyn. I need no other woman but you. I have never desired a woman like I desire you. I have you, and that is all I will ever need", he explained.**

**He looked at his watch and found that it was close to eight. He needed to go very soon. " Look, Jocelyn. For some strange reason, I am on duty from 8-12 tonight. If you can wait up, I will come to you. I promise you that", he said.**

" **Ok", she replied.**

**They talked for the rest of their time together that night before parting just shy of eight o'clock. Jocelyn headed to her cabin, and James headed to the deck for his shift. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own no part of Titanic or anything I say in the story. It is just all part of the story, and I claim no ownership to any of this, except Jocelyn and Katherine. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 9: The Iceberg**

**Jocelyn sat in her cabin, in her dress still. She did not want to put on a night dress because then she would get tired and fall asleep. It was just after eleven o'clock. It was warm in her room, which was contrast to what it was outside.**

**She read for awhile, but then found she could not sit still. Her mother would still be in the dining room, and would likely be there for another couple of hours. She found that she would very much like some company right now. Preferably James, but since he was not available at the moment, her mother would do just fine.**

**She walked down to the dining room, and looked around for her mother. Strangely enough, her mother was no where in the room. She might have retired early, Jocelyn did not know. Her mother always followed a routine. Maybe she was not feeling very well.**

**Jocelyn turned and headed back up to her room, or rather her mother's room. She felt dreadfully lonely without James. She needed someone to talk to, but right now it seemed she was on her own.**

**James walked along the deck, he had noticed that it was very calm on the ocean, and horribly freezing outside. He had been sipping a cup of tea for the past ten minutes, it kept him warm. Not by much, but some.**

**He wanted to be with Jocelyn now, but duty came before love in his world. Or anyone's world. He was just glad that he had finally admitted his feelings for her. It felt better, he was able to relax a little bit more.**

**Now he felt like the whole world was not closing in on him anymore. He ached deep inside to be with her right now though. It was quarter after eleven now, just forty-five minutes until he could go to her.**

**He smiled at the thought of being with her again. It made him smile and his blood grow very warm. All his life, education had been overruling to everything else. Now, he had the chance to change that.**

**It had been his father's dream to become an officer, and for the most part, his as well. Now, though, he found that was not the case. He knew he would never be able to leave Jocelyn for very long. He tried to think of other things to do.**

**Immediately, he thought of teaching. He had always been fond of that. He had never told his father though. Everyone would scoff at him and tell him that that was a woman's job. James did not believe so. The art of teaching was for anyone who wanted to teach.**

**He then thought about settling down and his mind conjured up the picture of Jocelyn. He had never thought much about settling down, but then again, between his studies and his father pushing him, James never really had the time.**

**He thought about having Jocelyn at his side, with children running around the house. That thought brought on a smile. It excited him now that he thought about the future. He wondered if Jocelyn ever thought about settling down, and raising a family.**

**He would talk to her later about that, tonight perhaps, or tomorrow. She was what he wanted most. He would talk to her, he vowed that. He made a mental note to ask her if she ever thought about the future.**

**As his thoughts wandered around a variety of topics, he heard the phone ringing just around the corner. He walked around to it and picked it up.**

" **Is anyone there?", a frantic male voice yelled into the phone.**

" **Yes, what do you see ?", James answered.**

" **An iceberg, right ahead", the voice answered back.**

" **Thank you", James replied and ran for the communication down to the crew's hold.**

**William Murdoch came running around the corner yelling, " Hard-to-starboard, hard-to-starboard!!"**

**The wheelman turned the wheel as far as it would go. He told James that, who reported it to Will, who was now on the deck watching the iceberg grow closer, while the Titanic just kept moving forward.**

" **Come on, come on. Turn, turn", Will whispered to himself.**

**The ship just started to turn and Will whispered, " Yes, yes. Turn."**

**The iceberg loomed over the deck as the shudders began. Will looked down at the railing that shook like an earthquake and then shouted, " Port-round it!!"**

**James told the wheelman and he started turning the wheel towards the other side of the ship. The grinding could still be felt all throughout the ship. He knew that Jocelyn would feel it and wonder what happened.**

**Will told James to write it down in the log, so James headed to do just that. Somehow, he would have to tell her what happened. He felt a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and he did not like it one bit. **

**The captain came out of his cabin and asked, " What happened, Mr. Murdoch?"**

" **An iceberg, sir", Will paused, " I did a hard-to-starboard, and tried to port-round it, but she hit…" Will's voice trailed off as Captain Smith headed towards his deck and looked over the port side. He could not see anything so he went to the front deck and seen the chunks of ice that had broken off on the deck. **

**He gave Will instructions, looked over the deck once more, before heading inside, and went for his jacket.**

**James came back to the deck just as Thomas Andrews came around the corner. They walked with a few officers to Andrews' room. James followed a few minutes after checking the deck.**

" **And how many aboard, Mr. Murdoch?", Captain Smith asked, as James walked in.**

" **Two thousand-two hundred souls on board", Will answered.**

**Captain Smith paused for a few minutes and James found that his breath was being held. He let it out before his face could turn purple. Everyone waited in silence and shock as to what had happened. Then, he turned to one man in particular and said, " I believe you may get your headline, Mr. Ismay."**

_**I'm sorry I haven't written for awhile, but I've been a little busy during the days and very tired at night. I know that this one is short, but I will update soon. And, about Moody's past, I do not know if anything I said was actually true, it's just part of the storyline. Read & review, I always enjoy the comments made about it. **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: The Sinkable Ship**

**James walked back on deck in a trance. The Titanic was going to sink. How was he supposed to act normal around Jocelyn now? He did not want her to panic. His shift ended in exactly five minutes, but now that the Titanic had struck an iceberg, he was now on duty until the last minutes before the ship sank.**

**He needed to tell Jocelyn, but he had so much to do. He had to help the rest of the officers with the boats, and help passengers into them. He needed to get to Jocelyn, he feared for her safety before everyone else's. **

**He could not just slip away and go to Jocelyn, she would figure it out in a matter of minutes when crew members came to her door and told her to put on her lifejacket. She would want answers, but for now, his place was with the officers.**

**Jocelyn was anxious after James did not show up. She did not expect him to arrive right at midnight, but now after waiting for ten minutes, she was getting anxious. And fearful. She had felt that terrible shuddering of the ship.**

**She shivered at the memory of it. It felt horrible, and no doubt it was worse than she needed to know. She just had to know what was going on. And what was keeping James? **

**She did trust him, but was it the shudder that she felt that was keeping him? Had something happened to the ship? That would certainly explain why he was not here, in her cabin, with her. She felt fear that she had never known before sweep through her body.**

**She had never been a skittish girl. She refused to be now. If only James could be there to explain what was going on. It was then that she heard the knock. She realized that she had been pacing, and went to get her wrapper before answering the door.**

**A man dressed in a white shirt and black pants was standing anxiously at the door. " Yes?", she answered.**

" **I am terribly sorry, madam. I am here to ask you to please put on your lifebelt. May I come in and retrieve it for you?", he asked politely.**

**She stepped aside and watched as he went to the closet and retrieved the lifebelt from the top shelf.**

" **May I ask what I am to need this for?", Jocelyn inquired, taking the lifejacket from his outstretched arms.**

" **I do not want to cause a panic, madam. Please just put your lifebelt on", he answered, pleadingly.**

" **I will, thank you. Has something happened?", she asked, a little impatient now, " As a passenger, I believe I have a right to know."**

" **Yes, I suppose you do. But, I cannot. Please put your lifebelt on, madam, and a coat, it is quite cold out tonight", he remarked.**

**He went to walk by her, and she placed her hand on his arm in a firm grasp. " Please, sir. Tell me what has happened", Jocelyn pleaded.**

**He stopped and looked at her hand on his arm. Then, up into Jocelyn's pleading eyes. He sighed and then drew back to face her. " Very well. Madam, I do not want you to panic. The Titanic has hit an iceberg. You felt a shudder, and that was it. The Titanic is going to sink", he explained. **

**Jocelyn drew back in shock, and then sat down on the sofa. " Are you sure?", she asked, breathlessly.**

" **Yes, quite. Please tell only who you must", he replied. Then left.**

**Jocelyn stared at the lifejacket in her hands with cold fear. So that was what was keeping James. An iceberg. She felt her face go pale as the blood left it in a rush. Terror swept over her and at once she realized that she must tell her mother.**

**She walked over to the door and stopped, realizing that she was only in nightclothes, and turned around to find a dress to wear. She seen one, it was a layered dress, but it was nice. It was an evening wear dress. Made of silk chiffon, it was very beautiful in blue with a black waistband, but at least it was nice.**

**She headed out the door twenty or so minutes later, the dress having been nice, with a fitted bodice. She walked a short ways to her mother's door and knocked lightly. She waited a few minutes and then when she was about to give up, the door opened.**

" **Jocelyn?", Kathleen asked, startled. **

" **Good evening, Mother", Jocelyn greeted.**

" **Good evening? It is past midnight", her mother replied.**

**Jocelyn had to smile at that. " Yes, Mother. I know. We are in the middle of a crisis here. I need to talk to you. Something serious has happened", Jocelyn stated, soberly.**

" **I just had a fellow come to my door telling me that I had to put a lifebelt on", her mother replied, stepping aside so Jocelyn could enter her room.**

" **Yes, well I have an explanation for that", Jocelyn explained.**

" **You do?", her mother asked, shocked. " It would be nice to know what is going on."**

" **Yes, well. There is no easy way to say this, so I am just going to get down to it. Mother, we hit an iceberg. That shudder you felt earlier was an iceberg scraping along the ship. It is going to sink", Jocelyn stated.**

" **That is not possible. This ship can not sink. How did you find that out. Did that officer of yours tell you?", Kathleen asked, a suspicious look on her face.**

" **No, he did not. And, yes, it can sink. Mother, it may be called the unsinkable ship, but it is clearly made of iron and steel. Of course it can sink", Jocelyn replied, completely oblivious to the look her mother gave her, her eyes wide with shock.**

**When Jocelyn did notice it, she asked, " What?"**

**Her mother realized she was staring in absolute shock, and recovered. " It is just that… well, how did you know that?", Kathleen asked.**

" **Know what, Mother?", Jocelyn asked, knowing very well what.**

" **That the ship is made of iron and steel. How did you find that out?", Kathleen asked.**

**Jocelyn just stared skeptically at her mother. She had to keep herself from laughing because her mother should know. Finally Kathleen just said, " That Officer Moody told you, did he not?"**

" **No, Mother, he did not. As a matter of fact, I do have eyes, and knowledge. You just have to look at the ship to know that it is made of steel. The iron part, yes, James told me", Jocelyn answered.**

" **I see. Jocelyn, did you happen to say that this ship struck an iceberg and is now sinking?", Kathleen asked, realizing just now exactly what her daughter had told her earlier.**

" **Yes", Jocelyn answered, carefully.**

" **Oh, that explains the lifebelt", Kathleen replied.**

" **Yes, it does. Look, Mother, I do not know how much time we have, but please, get to a boat", Jocelyn pleaded.**

" **Okay, okay. What about you?", Kathleen asked, " You need to get to a boat as well. You cannot stay behind."**

" **All I want is for you to be safe, I will worry about myself later. I still have my officer to worry about", Jocelyn answered.**

" **Jocelyn. You know I love you. I know you love him, but that officer, well, he is an officer. You cannot expect him to be with you after all this", Kathleen pleaded. She wanted her daughter to see reason, she did not want her to have her heartbroken.**

" **He loves me, Mother. For me. He told me", Jocelyn argued.**

" **Before, during, or after you were in his bed?", Kathleen asked.**

" **Mother!", Jocelyn gasped, " Why on Earth would you think that? And, for your information, it was tonight."**

" **That proves it, he was trying to seduce you into his bed-", Kathleen paused, and then asked, " Tonight?"**

" **Yes. Tonight. I had already been in his bed. Now, what do you think of my so-called shallow character, or his for that matter? Do you think that he was just trying to seduce me now?", Jocelyn asked, angry. Then she turned and headed out the door, leaving her mother to her startled expression and the guilt that overwhelmed her.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: One Last Look**

**Never had James seen such panic. As word spread about the iceberg, people started panicking and becoming frantic as soon as they heard of the Titanic's fate. A monstrosity. **

**It was just after twelve thirty and they had began launching boats. James found himself very busy and still thinking of Jocelyn. Not once had he seen her anywhere near the boats. He could not even see her amongst the crowd.**

**He began to worry, searching the deck surrounding him and not once seeing her face. She must be coming. He kept telling himself that, because that was that was the only way he kept from running straight to her cabin and dragging her out and into a boat himself.**

**He wanted her to be safe, that was all he kept thinking about. All was well once he seen her in a boat. She would probably be looking for him, and she knew he would be on the deck. She would find him, sooner or later.**

**Jocelyn would never be able to even see him in this crowd. The fact that she was at the very back of the crowd did nothing to ease her worries. What if she could not find him up here?**

**Surely he must be. He was an officer, for God's sakes. The thought of losing him on this Godforsaken ship was frightening. She refused to listen to the little voice inside her head telling her that she might lose him. She would not allow it.**

**She had thought she had just spotted him, but it was another one of the officers. She looked frantically for him, and could not see him anywhere. It was impossible to extinguish one person from the next in the crowds.**

**Massive panic had taken hold and Jocelyn did not want to leave the safety of the Titanic before she could at least see James. Just once. That was all she was asking. One more Goddamn time.**

**She moved through the crowds, looking for the distinct officer uniform she knew he wore. She heard Officer Murdoch's voice in the distance. At least somewhat. People panic, and then people get hurt. Does nobody learn?**

**As if life could ever be simple. Jocelyn had honestly thought they could get across the ocean without any problems, well, how wrong was she. As she watched the bow dip mercilessly deeper into the dark abyss, Jocelyn thought of everything that bow had meant to her and James.**

**She sighed and turned around. She started walking through the crowds, feeling hopeless and sad. How she longed to see James just one more time.**

**James kept loading women and children into the boats. He felt like crying every time a wife and child were separated from their men and fathers. So many crying children and men trying to reassure them that everything would be fine.**

**Everything would not be fine. Not from now on. He watched as yet another young woman and her husband shared one final kiss. It was one of the most heartbreaking things he had ever seen.**

**He caught the woman by the waist and gently tugged and her arms fell from her husband's neck. She looked so helpless and sad. He thought of Jocelyn. Oh, he would never be able to endure one final kiss between them.**

**His heart wrenched when he loaded the woman onboard, and she cried into her hands. Her husband was a young fellow, and he was trying to stay strong, but he could see the tears that threatened to pour out.**

**As he moved on to the next family that he had to separate, he thought even more about Jocelyn. He would never be able to let her go. If they made it off this boat safely, he vowed that he would never ever let her go.**

**He put the woman into the boat and then moved on to the two smaller children clinging to their father. They were crying and hugging and kissing him. He was trying to reassure them by saying that the separation would only be for a little while.**

**He lifted the one child and instantly knew that if that was his child, he would never be able to let them be separated. He would not be able to bear it. Life was just not being kind to them tonight. He gave the small child to it's mother and then moved to the next one.**

**That child was very clingy and strong. She held on tight to her father and cried that she loved him, and finally he was able to pull her away from her father, only to want to cry himself for having to do that.**

**Most of the men on this boat would die. There was just too many woman and children. They made up the majority of the passengers on the ship. He only hoped Jocelyn would be alright. He would hold on, and never give up, not until his last breath.**

**The next boat went down and James just watched as it went. He knew that he would have to get into one of these boats, just to help move them away from the ship. They would need order considering the massive panic attack that was happening onboard.**

**It was now gracing quarter to two in the morning. Most of the boats were gone. The ship was at an odd angle now. James looked around as he handed a single woman into the boat. She was not crying, nor pining for any man that he could see.**

**James turned abruptly and looked up. What he saw surprised him. Jocelyn stood not far from him. She looked just as surprised as he did, and then she smiled. James felt himself warm up, despite the freezing cold air sweeping around them.**

**She whispered the words " I love you" to him, and gave him another of her smiles. He mouthed the words back to her and then turned to help a woman into the boat, but when he turned around again, she was gone.**

**He felt the panic seize him and he glanced around furiously. She was no where in sight. The crowd that rushed between them must have swept her away from him. He gave up looking for her in the crowd, and then turned back to help more people into the boats.**

**Jocelyn could not believe she had just seen who she had thought she saw. James was still there, onboard. A crowd had rushed through just after he turned away to help some woman into the boats, and she had been swept away with them.**

**The force of people was so strong. When she got the chance, she escaped the stampede and turned to where she had seen him. She would never make it back, Nevermind remember which boat it was.**

**She turned around and ran into an older looking woman. She realized it was her mother. " Mother!", Jocelyn exclaimed.**

" **Jocelyn, darling, what are you still doing aboard this ship?", Kathleen asked.**

" **I could ask the same of you. Why are you not in a boat yet?", Jocelyn replied, casting her mother a scolding glance.**

" **I was just coming out to get into a boat now. There is no need to be out on that freezing water until I have to be", Kathleen responded.**

" **Well, then, hurry up now. The boats are nearly gone. You need find one quickly so I know that you are safe", Jocelyn replied, looking about the deck for any remaining boats.**

" **What about you?", Kathleen asked. Concern and worry edged her voice.**

" **I can not see a damn thing from here!", Jocelyn exclaimed.**

**Jocelyn just plain ignored her mother's question. She would not want to hear the answer, and Jocelyn could not take the pleading that she would surely get from her mother when she realized that Jocelyn was not going with her.**

**James looked at the boat that was about to be lowered, the one that he would get into. If only he knew where Jocelyn was. He prayed that she was safe on a lifeboat. He took a hesitant step into the boat before heading to the head of the boat and signalling that the boat was ready to be launched.**

**As he went down, a sadness came over him. He just wished that he had known if she was safe on a lifeboat somewhere out there in the darkness or was she still on the Titanic? That question plagued him until the boat reached the water.**

**The men rowed the boat out into the darkness that seemed to surround them. The people in the water were frantically flailing around trying not to sink into the undoubtedly freezing cold water. James gave another look at the fast-sinking ship before letting a grief like he had never known settle inside of him. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: The Sinking**

**Jocelyn found a boat and put her mother in front of her.**

**Her mother swung around and faced her daughter, her face frantic and worried. " Jocelyn, what are you doing?", her mother whispered, pleadingly.**

" **Getting you to safety", Jocelyn replied, as she kissed and hugged her mother and then gently pushed her forward. The officer took her mother and set her in the boat.**

**Her mother was pleading to let her daughter come into the boat as well, but Jocelyn told her goodbye and left without another word.**

**Jocelyn walked away, frantic to find James. She searched every place where the boats had been, but there was only one or two left besides the one that was not hooked up yet, and the one that was upside down.**

**Jocelyn looked around, and found that a few of the officers were still aboard, but that James was not one of them. She grew worried, but rational thinking became clear again and she thought that he probably just got onto that boat he was loading when they seen each other.**

**Jocelyn looked around for a boat, but found herself being pushed away from the one she had seen. Jocelyn did not know what to do. She moved closer to the stern section of the boat and decided to stay onboard. There was no point in going back for the boats as there would probably be either one or none, and even if there was one, she would likely never make it back there before it was gone anyway.**

**James looked up at the Titanic. It hung at a dangerous angle now and was getting closer to sinking. His heart pounded wildly in his chest. He hoped to God that Jocelyn made it a boat in time.**

**He checked his pocket watch. It was just after two in the morning. He wondered how long it would be before the ship sank under the frigid waters of the Northern Atlantic.**

**He grew restless but told the men to keep rowing, the farther away from the ship, the better. He had a bad feeling about this sinking and he did not want to anywhere near it when the Titanic goes under.**

**Jocelyn was a survivor, she knew that much. She kept her lifejacket on, knowing that it would help when swimming. She felt that familiar dread that she had come to know over the years creep into her again.**

**It scared the hell out of her to stay on this ship when it sank. She had heard that when the ship went down, it would pull people under with it. She would not be one of those people. She would kick and kick, if it meant her life, and she knew it did.**

**She knew that James was safe, and now her mother was. She would fight everything with her life, and stay alive, she would not give up. Jocelyn had never given up before, and she was not about to now. **

**She fought her way to the stern railing. Once there, she held on tight as the Titanic approached a horrible angle. That was when she heard the crack of wood. An eerie splintering of wood and crunch of steel.**

**Then she felt the jerk of the ship as it started falling backwards. She held on tight to the railing as the stern fell level with the ocean. She held on, and she would not let go. **

**James watched the ship split in half. He prayed that Jocelyn had found a boat. He told the crew to row faster and put their backs into it. He watched the hull fill with water.**

**The ship started rising once more and James clutched the sides of the boat so hard he was afraid he might break it if he held on any tighter.**

**Jocelyn felt the ship start rising before she seen it. She clutched the railing as the stern made its way into a vertical position. **

**As it rose, Jocelyn struggled over the railing onto the other side, where a few other people had found their way to. Then she clutched the railing tight as the Titanic finally became vertical.**

**Everything stopped. All movement. The Titanic stood up in the ocean as though it were standing. Jocelyn looked down at the people struggling to hold on. People who could not hold on started falling towards a painful death as the others struggled to get a hold on the ship.**

**Jocelyn could hear the screams of people far below as the Titanic started making its way towards the ocean. She could only watch in shocked silence as the deep swell of water rushed ever closer to her.**

**She held onto the rail as the froth of water got closer. She felt fear, and a terror she would never again know. She watched the water with a sort of calm she did not feel.**

**Just as the water reached the railing, Jocelyn sucked in a deep breath as the Titanic slid under the frigid waters, and disappeared. The only thing left were the bubbles that floated to the top of the surface of a black depth.**

**Kathleen Fleming watched as the Titanic sank into the frigid depths. She knew her daughter was still on that ship, and it broke her heart to think that Jocelyn could be dead.**

**She looked away, tears clouding her vision. Until she heard it, Jocelyn was still alive. She was a fighter, that one. She would give her last breath before she would die unwillingly. It was one of the things Kathleen admired about her daughter.**

**Kathleen thought of every single time Jocelyn had fought her. There was always a strength and always courage in Jocelyn. She would never just sit by and let something happen without having a say in it. Jocelyn had never been a quiet, docile, shy young girl. She had the strength of her father.**

**Kathleen ached when she thought of her husband. He had been forced into marriage after he was found. When he had found out that Kathleen was pregnant, he had thought that she had been lying. Kathleen remembered the look of surprise on his face when she had started showing.**

**Jocelyn's father, Julian Fleming, had been perhaps twenty-five when her family had tried to force him to marry Kathleen. It had broken her heart when he had refused to marry her. He had a tremendous will, and fought her family every step of the way. He had spent time with Kathleen quite a bit, getting to know her a bit more.**

**She remembered the day he had discovered that she really was pregnant, when he had seen her belly. He had not seen her in perhaps a month and a half. By that time, Kathleen was just over six months along. He had been surprised. It was then that he had decided to marry her.**

**Kathleen fought back the tears that kept coming to her. She and Jocelyn had been in England looking for a match for Jocelyn, while Julian was at home, working. Kathleen trusted him that he would never have an affair, she knew how much he loved her and how she loved him.**

**Kathleen would not let grief overcome her yet. When she heard that Jocelyn was dead, or missing, then she would let grief come. For now, however, she had to get a hold of herself, everything would be fine. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: A Rescue Mission**

**There was bubbles on the surface of the water, and then a head. Jocelyn gulped for air as she struggled to breath. The Titanic was strong, but Jocelyn kept fighting. She had to. For her mother, James-who she prayed to God was still alive-, and her father.**

**She looked around, hoping to see lifeboats around helping people into boats. All she seen was a mass of people kicking and screaming for help. It was not coming. There were no boats around. Jocelyn's heart sank.**

**She swam for as long as she could trying to find something to help her get out of the water. She could not see anything at first, but it was not long before a big door slid into view. Jocelyn swam as hard as she could to it.**

**James sat in the boat, shocked at what he had seen. He hoped and prayed that Jocelyn had made it to a boat in time. He did not know how to live until he met her. He did not want to spend the rest of his life without her.**

" **Are we going to save them, Officer?", a young woman asked.**

" **Please, madam. Do not worry about such things-", James started.**

" **Do not worry?! How can we not? Do you hear those people out there, Officer? In the freezing water? They need our help. Officer, please. My husband is out there", the woman sobbed.**

**James looked at the woman and felt her sympathy. He did not know what to do. The proper thing would be to go and help them. His instincts told him that much. His heart even more wanted to find out if Jocelyn was okay. But, he did not move.**

**Jocelyn climbed aboard the door that was floating around. The water was freezing and she was scared. Thoughts of her mother and father kept floating around her brain, making her temporarily forget the tragedy that had just occurred.**

**She remembered a song that she had sung when she was just a little girl. She started singing it, and found herself occupied by the stars. She had always been fascinated by the stars, but her mother never allowed her out after dinner.**

**Jocelyn thought of James and sighed. He would be in a boat somewhere out there. She felt the sting of tears come to her eyes, but in the cold, they did not last long. They froze to her skin and she cried without any tears.**

**Jocelyn fought the crying and thought of her mother and father. She regretted all the times she had defied her mother and yelled at her mother. She had never actually understood her mother until they decided to take the Titanic back to America. Her mother was just trying to protect her. And her father. Her father had never really been around throughout her childhood. She forgave him for that now.**

**People continued screaming for help. James was cold and tired of listening to them. The screaming had started subsiding before he ordered another boat or two to come to their side.**

" **Okay, tie those boats together. Nice and tight", James ordered. He looked back at the waters that held many, many people.**

" **Alright, listen to me men. We have to go back. I want to transfer all the women from this boat into that boat, as quickly as you can please", James told them. Women started transferring from his boat into the boat beside them.**

**Jocelyn laid on that door listening to the quieting voices that had once been screams from over a thousand people, that had now reduced to three or four people. She had been waiting for the boats to come for over an hour, she figured, and she was full of icicles.**

**She stared up at the stars, wondering if the boats would come back. She doubted it now, but there might still be hope. If James knew she was out here, she knew he would come back, or at least she hoped so. But, he did not know, therefore, did he really have a reason to come back? Of course he did.**

**She sung her favourite tune from when she was younger, and kept up her hope. The boats were out there, and they would come back. Jocelyn counted on it.**

**James held out his flashlight and studied the people that were just in front of the boat. There was an eerie calm about it, and that sent shivers down James' spine. No one was moving.**

" **Is anyone alive out there?", James paused. " Can anyone hear me?"**

" **Be careful now. Do not hit them", James ordered his crew gently.**

" **These are all dead, sir", one his crewmen said.**

" **Well, keep checking them. Keep looking", James yelled. " Is anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?" The boat kept rowing and managed to pull out one man.**

**Jocelyn heard the distant yelling. Then she felt the light on her face and she turned towards the light. She seen the light from the boat and heard a man's voice. She knew it from somewhere. A name registered. James.**

" **Is anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?", James yelled. **

**The light started to move away and Jocelyn started panicking.**

" **Come back", she paused, her voice barely there, " Come back. Come back, come back. James." The boat did not come back.**

**Jocelyn started to move. She managed to slip off the door and into the water. She bobbed like a cork for a couple of seconds before regaining her senses and started swimming. She splashed around and tried screaming. **

**An officer was not far from her and he had been blowing his whistle earlier. He was dead now, but Jocelyn had an idea. She swam over to him and grabbed his whistle. She blew as hard as she could.**

**James heard the distant whistle and turned the flashlight around. " Come about!!", he yelled. The boat was turned around and headed for the whistle. A person moving caught his attention.**

**Jocelyn kept blowing the whistle so long as the boat was still moving towards her. She moved around to catch some attention. When she finally caught sight of James, her breath caught.**

**James just stared in shock at the person in front of him. She was moving so slowly, but she was moving. There was icicles in her hair and her skin was pale white. Almost dead. " Jocelyn?", he said.**

**She put down the whistle. " James", she breathed.**

_**I know I haven't written in awhile. School is crazy right now. I have been packed down with homework, and there has been other stuff in my life that has just brought me down for awhile. I'll update when I can.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**I'm just going to apologize to everyone. I know that Officer Lowe was the one who went back. I mean no disrespect for the man. I had to figure out a way for James to stay alive and that was the only one I could think of at the time. I'm a little bit busy right now. Everything's just crazy and on the way I forgot that Lowe was the one who went back. So to everyone I am deeply sorry.**_

**Chapter 14: Still Alive and Kicking**

**James pulled Jocelyn into the boat and grabbed blanket upon blanket and wrapped them around her shivering body. He smiled up to the heavens, thanking them for not taking her from him.**

" **Jocelyn, hold on now. I need to search the rest of the people out here and see if there is anyone else that is alive. Do you understand?", he asked. He did not want to leave her, because she felt so cold. **

**He got up and gently laid her down in the boat. Then he resumed his duties.**

" **Is anyone alive out there?", he yelled, paused, then continued, " Can any hear me?"**

**He swung the flashlight around, looking for survivors. He only encountered ghostly white, icicle covered, dead women, children, and men. He sighed with relief that Jocelyn was not one of them.**

" **Is anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?", he yelled again. And again, again, and again.**

**They rowed over to another section where they pulled out another man. He was close to death, but he was still alive, they wrapped him in warm blankets before James continued on.**

**Jocelyn lay wrapped up in the warm blankets, thinking about the Titanic. Life had been so different onboard. It was the place where she had first found love. It would always be a dream and a place in her heart.**

**She felt the icicles melting, and some of the water was running down her back. It was freezing. She hugged the blankets closer around her and prayed to make it through the night.**

**James looked at Jocelyn. She was asleep. Which was good. He had only rescued six survivors from the water. Everyone else was dead. He felt sad for everyone who died, but he was thankful that Jocelyn was spared.**

**She looked so peaceful. An angel. He shivered at how close she had been to becoming just that. He did not like that thought one bit. He pushed it into a deep corner of his mind where he would not think about it again.**

**They caught up with the rest of the boats a little while later. It was still very dark in the sky, and it did not look like it was going to become daylight anytime soon.**

**James watched Jocelyn as she slept. She looked peaceful, he hoped that if she was dreaming, it was about something happy. He did not want her thinking about Titanic. Unless it was the happy part, before the sinking.**

**He wished he could go over to her and wrap his arms around her. He wanted to hold her while she dreamt, like he did that one and only time before. He could not though, because of his duty. It could not stray from his mind until they were aboard another ship.**

**James sighed and looked out at the vast ocean in front of them. It was so different from this angle. Here, the ocean looked wide and scary. On the Titanic, it looked normal, like it could be tamed. Now, it was survival, on the ship, it was luxury.**

**The ocean looked so dark and unpredictable. And, it was dark and unpredictable. It swallowed up the Titanic and had killed hundreds of people. James closed his eyes against the image of the dead woman in the water with her arm still wrapped her baby.**

**James looked around and checked every person he had pulled from the water, they were all okay. Cold and shivering, but they seemed fine. James finally found himself watching Jocelyn sleep again. It was a picture that he would never ever forget for the rest of his life.**

**James looked around at the rest of the boats, there was not one person talking at all. He figured that they were too busy trying to stay warm to worry about the latest gossip. **

**He made sure that the crew members were okay and that the people he rescued were fine before sitting down again. He watched the dark water and the other boats while he tried to stay warm, but he did not succeed in getting warm.**

**The other officers on the boats turned and told officers behind them that there was a ship coming. James heard it and sat up. It was just starting to brighten up a bit. The sky was a pinkish-orange. **

**James stood up and watched the ship that was coming closer, it had to be a rescue ship. He grabbed a flare and along with the other officers, started yelling for help. They had to see the twenty-some lifeboats floating towards them.**

**Jocelyn awoke to see James standing up waving a flare. She lifted her head a little bit, but it was enough that she could see the ship drifting closer to her. Then she lay back down because she was too weak to sit upright.**

**Jocelyn looked upwards instead and watched James as he waved and yelled. Even when he was trying to save their lives, he was still the handsomest man she had ever met in her life. Her dad was handsome, she had always thought, but her dad failed in comparison to him.**

**He looked down at her and smiled gently. It was a reassuring gesture and she felt it down to her toes. They would be alright, she decided, so she smiled back at him.**

**The ship was huge when it came to the boats. Jocelyn had to look up, which she could not do for long. She looked out at the ocean instead, waiting for their boat to get to the side of the ship.**

**It was a while before the ship reached the side. The other passengers climbed up first. James helped Jocelyn sit up in the boat and asked softly to her ear, " We are safe. Now let's get you up safely on deck."**

**He helped her stand up and then walk over to the rope ladder. She managed to hold on long enough to get up a few steps. She slipped once, but quickly grabbed onto the ladder so she would not fall.**

**She was helped onto the deck before half collapsing into the crowd of passengers that was gathered around the deck. James stood right behind her, guiding her through the crowd. She was handed another blanket and some hot tea. James took it for her and helped her hold onto it.**

**He guided her to a bench on the deck away from the crowds and sat her down. He sat down beside her and held her in his arms. She felt so safe and warm tucked so close to his body.**

" **You're shivering", James stated, as he pulled her even closer.**

" **I know. It was so cold", Jocelyn replied, burying her face against his chest.**

" **It's alright. You are safe now. I will not let anything happen to you", James promised.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: A New Beginning**

"**I am so glad you are here with me", Jocelyn stated.**

"**I would not leave you for the world. I love you, Jocelyn", he replied, kissing the top of her head.**

"**I love you too, James", Jocelyn answered.**

"**Is there anything I can do?", James asked.**

**Jocelyn thought for a few minutes before carefully shaking her head, then remembering, she exclaimed, " My mother!"**

**James looked down at Jocelyn, and he could see the joy in her eyes. " Did your mother get to a boat?", James asked, softly.**

" **Yes, James. I put her on one myself before deciding to stay onboard the ship to find you", Jocelyn answered.**

" **Okay, she's here somewhere. We will find her", James replied.**

**He took her hand and helped her stand. She was feeling better than she had before. Jocelyn looked around, but she did not see her mother. James took her hand and led her through the crowds.**

**Jocelyn searched through every person, but she did not see any sign of her mother anywhere. She was about to give up when she spotted her. Jocelyn practically ran through the crowd.**

" **Mother!", she exclaimed.**

**The woman looked up and sure enough, it was her mother. " Jocelyn?", her mother exclaimed in disbelief.**

" **Mother! Oh my goodness. You are here. You're alright", Jocelyn replied. She threw herself into her mothers waiting arms. She hugged her so fierce that Kathleen was scared of her bones breaking.**

" **And you? Jocelyn. Thank God. You are… well, you are alive", her mother breathed. Kathleen pulled away from her daughter and took Jocelyn's face between her hands. " Why would you do such a foolish thing?"**

" **I had to find James. I had to know if he was still on the ship", Jocelyn answered.**

" **And you risked your life? For a man? Jocelyn, I have to admit, that is so foolish. You would have been able to survive…", then she paused because she noticed for the first time that James was standing just behind Jocelyn.**

" **No, Mother. I would not have been able to survive. He may be just a man to you, but remember how you and Father feel about each other? It is the same between James and me. I was not just going to abandon him", Jocelyn stated.**

**James looked shocked that she had stayed behind on the ship just for him. " You stayed on the ship and risked your life for me?", James asked, puzzled.**

**Jocelyn turned to him. " Yes, love. For you. I was not just going to let you be by yourself. You matter to me more than my own life", Jocelyn replied, soberly.**

**Again, James looked shocked. **

**Jocelyn smiled up at James. Then turned and faced her mother again.**

" **Mother, I love James. With all my heart, I swear, I love him. I was not going to let him be alone if I could help it", Jocelyn explained.**

" **You are sure?", Kathleen asked, looking past her daughter to the man the Jocelyn loved so much.**

" **Yes, Mother. I am sure. No matter what happens", Jocelyn replied, beaming at her mother.**

**Kathleen stepped past Jocelyn to James. He looked down at her with a severe expression. He had no idea what was coming next, so he was not expecting the questions. **

" **Do you love Jocelyn?", Kathleen asked.**

" **Yes, ma'am. I do. I would do anything for her", James replied with absolute certainty.**

" **You will not hurt her?", Kathleen asked. She already knew the answer, but she needed to hear it anyway.**

" **I promise, Mrs. Fleming. I will never ever hurt your daughter. She is a special woman, who was prepared to give up her life for me, and she almost did. I love her so much, with all my heart, I will never let her go", James answered.**

" **Okay. Settled then. Moreover, Jocelyn, I approve of him, I already did. Your father might have something to say, but I am sure he will not disapprove", Kathleen replied.**

**Jocelyn relaxed a little bit, and so did James. Her father. One parent down, one to go. He had to make an impression. He had heard about the girls' fathers having to approve. **

**For the next couple of days at sea, Jocelyn and James walked around the boat deck, talking and laughing. They spent the nights together, warm and cozy. **

**James could never have been happier, even though he still mourned the people that had been lost. That night they would be docking in New York, and James was prepared to change his life, for Jocelyn he would change it. **

**James seen Jocelyn walking towards him, a smile on her face. He had been planning to do this for a couple of days now, but he thought that, tonight, just before they reached the Statue of Liberty, that he would ask her the most important question of his life.**

" **Hi", she greeted him. The rain clouds were gathering overhead, but James failed to notice them.**

" **Hi", he replied.**

" **Clouds are gathering", Jocelyn observed.**

" **Yes, I think it just might rain", he answered.**

" **Did you want to go inside?", she asked.**

" **No, I think I would like it out here in the rain. Seems soothing, and refreshing", he answered.**

" **And cold", Jocelyn added.**

" **Right", he murmured.**

**James noticed Kathleen coming towards them, no doubt to get them inside before it rains.**

" **Good evening, ma'am", James greeted her.**

" **Hello, Officer. Jocelyn, we should head inside, it looks as though it might rain, and I do not want you to catch a cold, or worse", her mother replied.**

" **We were just discussing staying outside for the time being. Would you like to join us?", James asked. He liked her mother, she was a sensible woman, but the offer he made was just out of courtesy.**

" **I think I just might. It is a bit chilly though", her mother commented.**

" **It is. But, first, Jocelyn there is something I must ask you", James replied. He put his hand in his pocket and felt the familiar engagement ring that his father had given his mother and therefore his mother gave to him to give to the woman he wanted to marry. He brought it out of his pocket, but Jocelyn was not looking at his hand, she was staring into his eyes.**

" **Of course", was Jocelyn's reply.**

**He got down on one knee and held out his hand as he took hers. He extended the ring. " Jocelyn, I have known you for only a few days, but I feel as though I've known you my whole life. You are my world, and I want to share that world with you for the rest of my life. Jocelyn Fleming, will you marry me?", he asked.**

**Jocelyn and Kathleen gasped. They stood there like that few a few moments before Jocelyn smiled and took the ring from his fingers. She gently put it on her left ring finger. " Yes, James. I will marry you", Jocelyn squealed. **

**James stood up and Jocelyn jumped into his arms. They shared a passionate, yet brief kiss. Kathleen watched them, remembering her earlier years. She wished that she had that kind of proposal. Nonetheless, she loved her husband, and she would always love him, just as she knew that Jocelyn and James would always love each other. **

**The rain started falling, fast and hard, but it did not douse the emotion that swam between mother, daughter and fiancé. The two lovers had their arms around each other as they went by the Statue of Liberty, and they looked up at it as they held onto one another for life.**

**The End**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_**This is the end of the story. I do so hope all of you's enjoyed reading it. I know enjoyed writing it. Every bit of it. Thank you for the support.**_


	16. NOT AN UPDATE BUT PLEASE READ!

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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Rocketman1728

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Jay Frost

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If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spreed the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.


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